University of Nebraska

I interviewed in Omaha Nebraska. It was cold but the people were lovely. I told them all about my Nebraska ranch vacation and they kinda loved it.

dead bodies. lots of them

Getting ready for another 'first day of a rotation' that starts tomorrow.  I will be doing forensic pathology at the LA Coroners office for a month. I guess I wont need my stethoscope.  no saving lives at this rotation....

bad joke? i know sorry.

I hate the match....

Welp here I am. In the middle of Illinois on an amtrak train from Chicago to Springfield on a Wednesday afternoon. Its beautiful outside so its a pretty ride. A nice time to reflect on what the last month has been. I cant help but keep thinking how difficult this whole process is and how much stress I am under. I try to suppress it, try to relax, try to enjoy all the traveling but its the uncertainty of everything that keeps making me want to curl up in bed and sleep for days.

Physically I am out of shape and am constantly getting sick, which makes sense with all the stress and working in the ED seeing kids and adults come in one after another with fevers, pharyngitis, pneumonias, you name it. I am also working in a new city with new bugs/ viruses that my body has never been able to adapt to so im not suprised by my lack of fighting capability. Also, I have stopped working out all together and I feel so gross.

 But emotionally, I am also out of shape. I just want to know where I am going. Its hard to live each day thinking /worrying about the future rather than living day-to-day. I am in Chicago, one of my favorite cities, and this whole month is kinda tainted with interviews and stress. I really really want to live here and go to residency in this incredible city but its just not that simple. Too many other factors are contributing. And i keep thinking, as much as I would love to go to Arrowhead and get incredible training there, what are the chances that I will meet a guy in the inland empire. Versus coming to Chicago and meeting a cute, smart, nice midwestern guy....which they have plenty of. This decision isnt just about where I will be trained best. It is about where my life will be best.

My 3 interviews in Michigan went well, but as much as I want to be excited about them, i'm not. A couple of the programs were great, the people were friendly and the hosptals nice. but when it came down to it, i know how unhappy I would be living in the middle of Michigan, far removed from a nice big city and loved ones. and really, im just not feelin Michigan.

Then, I had another interview in Michigan at a hospital in St. Joseph. It is right on Lake Michigan, 1.5 hours drive from Chicago. It was beautiful. Now this, this is a place I could get used it. The people were great and so was the location. So now I have another DO program I am considering. Its close to Chicago, so I could still come to visit and see familiar faces and its right on the lake so I can enjoy the time I have off. Its got me a little worried though, would I rather go here over Arrowhead? The little things are coming into play now too. The factors of free food, 8 hour shifts vs 12 hour shifts, cost of living, etc. I wish my mind wouldnt consider these factors but it has...and it constantly is. No day is ended until I ponder my choices whether it be on a train, car ride home or while falling asleep. Its exhausting. Im exhausted.

"In the words of M&M conferences, you only get one shot"
-a wise attending in the ER discussing how we need to widen our diagnostic tests

Resurrection Interview

This was it, the moment of truth. Interviewing at the program that I decided in November of 3rd year that I wanted to go to....

Lakeland Regional, Michigan

I worked Tuesday from 7am to 3pm and then walked to the car rental place, got my car and drove the 2.5 hours to St. Joseph, Michigan for my Lakeland interview. I missed the residents dinner that was planned for 6:30pm. I wish I would have gotten here sooner because when I got to the hotel that THEY paid for, I was in for a huge surprise  I walked into the room to find a 2 bedroom suite with a Jacuzzi tub. Jackpot! I took a nice warm bath, at my late dinner and unfortunately had to go to bed pretty soon after I got there because we had to be at the hospital early. It was a long day and I had another long interview day ahead.

The interview day was really impressive. I have heard great things about this hospital on the interview trail and those people were not exaggerating. Its a brand new facility, right on Lake Michigan in a beautiful area. The hospital itself is nicer than most hotels I have been staying at. Waterfalls in the front lobby, gorgeous patient rooms, elevator music playing throughout the hospital. Honestly, I wouldnt mind spending 4 years in this place. I had 2 interviews and both went really well. When I sat down with the PD the first thing he asked my was, "So, how was Arrowhead and how is Dr. M.” Apparently they are good friends. We had a good chat and he, along with so many interviewers, mentioned my glowing letter of rec from Arrowhead. He ended the interview on a great note of “any program, including ours of course, would be very lucky to have you. You are an incredible candidate with tons of experience and glowing letters of rec.” That was a nice little ego boost, I'll take them when I can get them!

Its funny how interviews can make you feel completely inadequate or just the opposite, like a rockstar. I felt great after that interview and decided that this was a place I will definitely be ranking.

After the interview I got into my rental and drove back to Chicago. I had to get back by dinnertime because I had my pre-interview resident dinner for my Ressurection interview the next day! I won't lie, I was thrilled to get back to Chicago to interview for my dream program. But, Lakeland was a very impressive place that made a resting impression on me. Before I left, I spoke with the coordinator about setting up a shadow day while I was still close by in Chicago.

Loving this program

Chicago is incredible. Its the perfect city. A great mix of nightlife, good fun people and midwestern feel. Living here for residency would be a dream come true. And the program I am working at would be a wonderful place to train. Such a diverse mix of patients, pathology and trauma mixed it. I am getting good feedback from residents and faculty and have a really good feeling about the program. One of my favorite attendings has a mix between cocky, abrasive, and teddy bear ish-ness. His bark is much worse than his bite. After a few shifts with me he said, “I like you. your smart. I would be OK with you coming here for residency.” Coming from him, this is a huuuuge compliment.

Dr. V is our student coordinator and hes awesome. So great to work with. Incredibly smart, nice [and pretty darn good looking too]. Every attending and resident I have worked with has been a pleasure to be around and learn from!

On the flip side, I just got my eval from the program I worked at in Brooklyn and they did not think I did as stellar. Its a weird feeling because I also had great feedback from attendings and residents but obviously something went wrong. To be honest, its not somewhere i would want to go but im still bummed. Actually i am a little angry also considering i worked so hard and spent a lot of time and energy to get a good eval and it turned out to be mediocre [at best]. Morale of this story is you win some, and most definitely lose some!