didactic week is back...

"a) why do i always wait til the wkend before shelf exams to start studying? b) why do we lose an hr?!?!!? c) why do i feel the need to clean my room right now?" -Melissa

Inside jokes from the psych ward

"Just read a case on anaphylaxis-- a legitimate way to die secondary to esophageal collapse...kinda..." -nicole

"haha i just read a case where a 28 y/o F resident presented with...Thump Thump."
-tan

‎"...that was the bus...SMURFS!"
-nicole

[someone pops their head in the door. she looks a little disheveled and then closed it quickly]
"was she wearing shoes?"
 -Tan
[most of the patients don't wear shoes. they were the hospital socks with grip on the bottom]

"the only thing that differentiates us from them is this white coat....and shoes"
-Tan

"I'm going to move to North Dakota where I know my patients won't speak Spanish"
-Tan on his inabilities to communicate in spanish

"Never try dying your hair post-call. lesson learned"
-Me to Nicole after a post-call hair disaster

some quotes from an interesting 2 months...

"doctors should have a course on growing some balls...or ovaries"
 -doc

"we don't break the 80 hour rule here. public service announcement.  such bullshit... [under his breathe]
-doc

"i caught my 16 year old daughter drinking. found a cheap ass bottle of vodka in her closet" -doctor
"i think it's legal in your own home to drink if you are under 21 as long as there is someone over the age of 25 supervising" -intern
"stay away from my daughter" -doctor

"why won't you refill my pain killer prescription?" -patient
"because you don't need such a strong pain medication anymore. I will give you something different" -doctor
"im gonna have to get my attorney on this then" -patient
"why? he can't write it for you." -doctor

"Having a nurse as a patient is almost as bad as having a medical student in the hospital. remember that one western kid that was here last year? we pulled him into morning report and made him present himself. he did a pretty good job from what i can remember"
 -doctor, referring to Tan without even knowing it

"could have been a hero, not a zero"
 -doc

"MRI. that stands for 'More Radiologist Income"
 -doc

"almost intern proof, but we'll see..."
-doc

doc pulls up a medical student's H&P on the computer for all to see, it read, "the patient fell while he pooed."  hysterical laughter resulted

"kid came in with abdominal pain after eating an entire large bag of flaming hot cheetos"
-doc

one intern points out another interns mistake to cover her own ass:
 "thump thump. that was the bus"
-doc

text from nicole:

"girl getting arrested at parking lot of CR [psych hospital]"