Dermatology Quotes

“…We’re hoping to have a good session today. And I’ll turn it over to Dr. Al Tikriti to get started.” --Patel ::oh the irony::

“...Intermingles with some other cells in the neighborhood, and therefore causes some sort of spines.”-Al Tikriti

“Great...thank you Dr. Al Tikriti..”-Pummy (after AT speaks..is Pume being sarcastic? who knows.)

“Don’t memorize a whole list.... you’ll be sitting there on the test like god damn what was that...” -Hoang

“When you talk to your patients, you need to talk at their level. Don’t use all the fancy science terms we put on these tests, otherwise your patients will hate you and they won’t come back, and you won’t be able to take their money...” -Hoang

“On thick skin we need to use heavy duty, don’t use something sissy like hydrocortisone...” - Hoang

“In dermatology as a private care physician, I have two visits to take care of a problem. I have an initial visit, and then a follow up, and if I don’t fix it then they go to some other dermatologist.” - Hoang

“I will tell you, even though I am a dermatologist I own three [stethoscopes]. I confess I don’t know what S1 and S2 are... but I know how to listen for wheezes.” - Hoang

“I’m not a lawyer. I’m your alumni! I’m here to help you.” - Hoang

“Well we really appreciate you putting off your flight to Cancun until this afternoon... although it probably was cheaper.” - Pummy

“Having Necrotizing fascitis is a life-altering event.... and if you don’t diagnose it... it is potentially a career altering event” - Pummy

“I want everyone here to just push the button, even if you are tired of pushing the damn thing.... just let me know you are alive... unless you are dead... then you don’t have to press the button.... 88 huh... that’s all that's here? Anyone not pressing the button just to be annoying?” - Pummy asking us to all click in on a quiz question we have previously answered the Friday before spring break... honestly a bit surprised there were even 88 of us there...

“Pseudofolliculitis Barbae... well what predisposes patients to that? Shaving...right okay... are you going to ask him if he is shaving his [junk]?” - Pummy
“Yup” John Barrus
“Well good on you, I mean it is LA so people do all sorts of weird things...” - Pummy

“What does glaborous mean? I know mom said you shouldn’t [masturbate] because you will grow hair on your palms... but the truth is.... you can’t. Glaborous means there are no hair follicles.” -Pummy

“Okay this patient just came back from Cancun and she has this rash on her butt...what is this? Anyone have any ideas about this.... c’mon theres a wild world out there... what is this?”
“Spider bite” -Student
“No, a little more exotic... she’s shaving her butt? Well not that exotic...”
“She got busy in the forest and got poison oak on her butt.” -Amberger
“She got busy in the forest? Well she did that, but she didn’t get poison oak, she got poison penis....This is Herpes Simplex!” -Pummy

“Now she did not get that from a toilet seat....” -Pummy about HSV

“The people that are going to get this are the Ed Barnes of the world. They are people that have to shave often, so people in the military.” -Pummy on Pseudofolliculitis

“What is a carbuncle? Well its like a bunch of furuncle got together and said let’s have a kumbaya on the beach.” - Pummy

“Never let the sun go down on an abscess...” -Pummy

“What should you do with these patients? Tell them not to pick their nose!!!” - Pummy

“This is another big horse... this is a budweiser horse....” -Pummy on cellulitis

“If you remember nothing else from this school, if you see blue in cellulitis... it is necrotizing fascitis until proven otherwise.” -Pummy

“What is that picture on the Left... and DO NOT say that is a picture of me....” -Pummy in regards to an image of a butthole

“I am not a dermatologist... I am a nephrologist... but I have something to teach.” - Bahlodia

“Tinea versicolor, it doesn’t really do anything bad, it just makes you look ugly.” - Hoang

“You need to know this for your board exams... but clinically we don’t care what causes this because we treat both causes the same way.” Hoang

“When you do a skin scraping, and do a KOH prep what do you expect to see?” -Bahlodia
“Italian Food” -Student on the ‘spaghetti and meatballs’ pattern of m. furfur on KOH stain

“Erythema Nodosum is one of the pain in the neck things to treat clinically. You can do a 10K workup and still not be able to come up with an underlying cause.” - Hoang

“Pigmentation in a lesion worries clinicians a lot... they always think it is a melanoma. But pathologists... we come to the rescue!” -Parsa

“How do we know that this is a melanoma... its amelanotic... well to the rescue ::shows slides of staining techniques::” -Parsa

“You look at us, we are supposed to have two eyes and two ears... we are supposed to be symmetric. If you see asymmetry that is not normal.” -Hoang on ABCs of melanoma

“Remember we are DOs, we are damn good at touching people.” -Hoang on palpating melanoma

“Nobody likes to spend a $50 copay and an hour or thirty minutes of their time to hear the doctor say ‘oh its nothing’.” -Hoang

“I know it’s a pain in the neck to listen to a patient sometimes, but please do.” -Hoang

“If you don’t like to listen to patients, look for another job.”-Hoang

“A Cotton white T-shirt is only it’s only for modesty...it’s only SPF5” - Hoang

“People talk about SPF15... but they should be using SPF70... welcome to 2011..” - Hoang

“When you get to medical school you dump your hard drive and start putting all this stuff in... then you clean up your hard drive again in residency and dump everything you don’t need again... That’s life... just suck it up and memorize it and get your grade and then move on.” -Hoang

“This man is caucasian... if I sew it together I will make him slant eyed forever and he is not asian.... and I can’t move the ear forward because he does not want to be mr. spock...” - Hoang

“Well I really appreciated Dr. Hoang’s enthusiasm.... he gets me all excited when he talks.... and it’s not easy to get a pathologist excited.” - Parsa

“How you practice depends on how much you want to spend on your malpractice insurance... if you do it right... then it is lower, but if you do it wrong.... its a lot higher...” -Hoang

“Medications... and let’s face it... better living through chemistry, that is what life is all about.” - Hoang

“I am not a hair transplant dermatologist... so you don’t need to know the two different classification systems [for alopecia] - Hoang
Thanks Dr. Hoang.... you think next time you could leave the slide out of the ppt then if it isn’t relevant to the exam... I mean appreciate you being thorough and all with your 181 slide presentation...but really... its okay not to add more to it... k thanks!
This just in... you didn’t bother to submit questions for us anyway...so umm nvm?

“I tell the patients this is a sign of maturity... they don’t like to be called old. For the asian patients I tell them it is a sign of wisdom.” -Hoang on Seborrheic Keratosis