$$$$$$

financial aid came in today [they split it and give you half at the beginning of the academic year and half in the middle]. thats a lot of money sitting in my checking account right before christmas....

nicole went to vegas for the weekend, i made sure to text her this:

"seeing as though you are on your way to vegas and have a newly deposited large amount of financial aid in your bank account, i thought i would take this opportunity to remind you to be careful"

I've wanted to be a doctor since I was 14, you'd think I'd have decided on a specialty by now :/

Today we had a '4th year orientation' which was a 2 hour presentation about how to schedule our electives and such. 4th year requirements are

1) 4 weeks emergency medicine

2) 4 weeks sub-internship in any medicine specialty

3) 4 weeks sub-internship in any surgical specialty [a sub-internship is a 4th year clinical rotation done at a hospital with residency programs. A student will generally select an elective sub-internship, where the student will perform the role of an intern or first year medical graduate, under the supervision of attending physicians. In this way, the student can experience a glimpse of their future career without the burden of full responsibility.] 

4) 7 electives [4 weeks each] 

5) 4 weeks of vacation.

 the trend that connects all of them? NONE of these are actually scheduled by the school, they are just requirements. this is both the beauty and scary aspect of 4th year....we get to schedule the entire year based on our interests. With some rules and restrictions, I can pretty much do a rotation in any hospital in the country. sounds great... except that with that many choices i start to have a panic attack every time i try to think about making a decision. 

the biggest decision of them all...deciding what kind of medicine i want to do for the rest of my life. i thought by now i would have decided but i am still scratching my head, looking around wondering when im going to get that 'ah hah!' moment. its really scary to see my friends make decision and start to set up their audition rotations for next summer while i am still figuring out what i do and dont like.

Here is my list:

-i know i want to be a hospitals [or at least spend most of my time in the hospital...could be a clinic, OR, wards, whatever]

and

-i know i want to do procedures 

thats a short list but i guess i need to start somewhere. I think as i do internal medicine throughout the next 2 months and get to spend time in the ER admitting patients occasionally i will start to see if either of these could be somewhere i could end up.

and while i spend time deciding my specialty, i have to decide what city i want to live in for the 3-4 years after graduation. and while i decide that i have to decide what hospitals i would want to do my residency at in those cities so i can schedule audition rotations at those hospitals during july-october of 2012.

no pressure.

Blue Block

Daniel: r u studying right meow

me: nope

      christmas shopping online and watching mad men on netflix

Daniel: i can't wait for vacation block

officially half way done with 3rd year!

its ova!!!!
Last day came and went. it was actually a pretty good day. My last patient was a new patient to the clinic so i went through an extensive H&P on him, lets call him Matt. He was a 66yo guy who had tinnitus [ear ringing] that he couldn't get rid of. It started 6 months ago after dental work and it is driving him crazy. He was there with his wife and they were a pretty cool couple. They got married 10 years ago and she helped turn his life around. Matt grew up in Brooklyn and just like anyone from Brooklyn, he was sarcastic, witty and very funny. We talked about his childhood and his youth. He has lived all around the states, Chicago and Hollywood being his favorites. He used to work for nightclubs in LA and with that, did a lot of drugs. He had some good stories and some really tragic ones. Overall, he didnt regret a thing and i envy his life. He went through a lot of lows and highs but his life experiences can never be taken away and now, he is a happy, healthy and active person. It makes me laugh at how opposite we have lived out our 20s. I dont envy all the drugs and stupid situations he got into, but i do envy his unattached freedom. It would be nice to give up expectations for a moment and just live life instead of worrying about the future. Though in a sense i do have unattached freedom because i am a single adult with no family to tie me down, i have a lot of responsibilities, expectations to meet, and debt to pay off.

another highlight of our last day was when a patient came in just to show me her dog. this lady had been in 3 times throughout this month and i saw her each time. She got hurt badly when her dog [a 70 pound golden-doodle puppy] pulled her in her back yard and she hit her head and arm. She loved this dog and talked about him all the time. I wanted to see pictures of him and on her last visit she forgot so she said she would bring him in at lunch one day. Well, on our last day the dog walked her into the front door and we played with him for a bit. it was really fun.

At the end of the day, the doctor pulled everyone aside individually and went over our evaluations. She was really nice and gave me some compliments and constructive criticism. It all ended with, "you are going to be an excellent, compassionate physician."

that felt good to hear.

Getting to business

"Are you married?" - 68yo male OB physician
"No" -Sarah, third year medical student
"Well you better get to work. If you don't find someone by residency you never will. Men are intimidated by female doctors"
"Thanks..." -Sarah

2 more days

The doctor told us at the end of the day that she's going to miss us. I was flattered but really my only thought was "Sorry but I won't miss this place lady..."

Back to the grind

In response to an email requesting my work schedule over the holidays. I'll be doing internal medicine at a community hospital. 

Hi Dorothy,

All students are off on Christmas and New Years Day.  Half the IM students will be working on Christmas Eve (weekend hours are 6am to noon) and the other half will be working New Year's Eve.  I have you schedule for New Year's Eve, so you will be off on Christmas Eve.