Sensible me says "Ok brain, let's learn some stuff for the impending exam". Brain says "no way are you putting those tedious facts in my hippocampus.". Stalemate :(

-Andy

Just a few examples of extra-curricular activities and their invites

these are all from my friend/fellow student doctor Sarah, you probably wont get all the jokes but I wanted to make sure to have these in the future so i thought i would post them on here....

October 28, 2010
"Ships Log: NOV BIRFDAY BABES UNITE!

Okay, listen up misters and misterettes, there are some very important ladies who are making another trip around the sun in NOV:

Beth Knierim, Franny, Kickapoo (kelsea) Lane and Moriah "peepsie" Ortiz!

In order to celebrate these bodacious babes' birth, we figured there is really no better way than to transform our humble home into a spaceship and teleport/beam up (scotty) YOU to our house on Fri, NOV 19th.

That's right, its outer/inner space themed! Complete with corn hole, photo corner (oh la la), and enough tin foil to make seven solar ovens with! So come with yourselves, some teleporting gear, a space ship +/- light saber, moon boots, your zero gravity suits and party goggles, cause we're gonna do some space travel.

A barrel of teleporting beverage will be provided, but BYOB, cause we don't want to end up in dry wormhole seven light years away from the liquor store.

Cordially yours,

Capt. fang."

"update: 1,000 sq feet of tin foil has been acquired. prepare."



Novmber 17, 2010
"Capt Log:

Not joking. It's all happening right now. As we travel in this space-time continuum towards Friday evening, I just wanted to remind you to strap the colander to your dome, wrap that laser beam onto your wrist, and buckle those light sabers on tight, cause we are blasting OUT OF THIS WORLD.

Do birthdays last longer in SPACE? Come find out Friday Night as we whoop it up for some foxy lassies! All costumes are welcome, because let's be real, we might just time travel back into the Oregon Trail days.

and now for Captain's Orders:
1) no drunk driving in space, so bring your trusty DD.
2) if you haven't responded to our invite...you might as well, it will help prepare for space supplies.
3) don't you even dare think about missing this.

Boldly going where no man has ever gone before,
Fang"

January 3,2011
"1.3 scores ago a great man was born...

eyo so it's FERNANDO XAVIER DONOSO JR's BIRTHDAY hoy en dia.

We will be holding a grand celebration at our house this SATURDAY EVENING rain, shine, sleet, snow, or any other natural or man-made occurrences.

Come join us celebrate our beloved Dito's 26th trip around the sun, the new year, and everything else worth celebrating!!

PS. IT'S A MUSTACHE PARTY. you know what to do.


PPS. We'll have some beverages, but please BYOB per usual."

January 7,2011
"HELLOOOOO FUTURE MUSTACHE COMPADRES!!!

Just a friendly reminder that, well, we hope to see YOU at our quaint wallpaper clad digs tomorrow evening! Why? To celebrate Fernando's Birthday BASH of course!!

Also...a small proposal:

We need some killer tunes to cut the proverbial rug tomorrow evening. Whoever brings the best dance mix will win a sweet prize!!! No, not a mustache ride...maybe even better!


So strap on your drinking slippers, your dancing vest, and rub your face in poppy seeds (boulos thinks that makes stubble), cause we are gonna do it up proper!

'stache ya later

fang"


January 21, 2011 [we are going camping tomorrow!]
"Hello compadres.

Update: Two sites have been reserved at San Clemente State Beach. We have Sites 111 and 112, and may need to leak/dribble/slough/weep into the next site over depending on how many folks we got.

I was thinking we could show up at our house around 1:30 and leave around 2. If you are on board, rad, if not...holla.


I assume that this is going to be a BYO EVERYTHING, but lets coordinate on things coordinatable.

Tents:
Joey's got a party tent.
Bot: do you have one?
I will prolly end up sleeping outside again. Hopefully it wont rain this time.

Firewood: gabe you on this? Also...the keg question revisited --> pony keg?

S'mores: I think I got them in the bag

Food&Beverages: firefood n stuff.

Also...more important things to bring:

Joey: dont forget the disco ball whatever you do. And some red hook to make sure Kuzmack stays
Bot: squeenches
Cinnahs: bring that southern banter
dot: shennnnnannigans.
Gabe and crew: that rad dog and some polish horseshoes?
Dito: headlamp. and never take it off. on and your crocodile killing elbows.
Manda: your locket filled with your favorite troll and favorite ninja turtle
Hamilton: that sunshine smile
peepsie: you better come in your dunteedunts
Sugi: that rare wild side I've only heard of and never done seen
Sylvester: appetite killers, ie snacks. and the angry bird pig nose.
Kicka: that sassy molassy
Kindervater: LIGHTER FLUID/ gasoline. hold on the TNT
Franny: speed skating lessons
Chris Dan: time release crack
Campground Killah: check the headlocks at the door and bring your scribe equipment.
Hoffman: bring a surprise
Ian: a cartoon idea about cologne
Beth: self defense moves


This is gonna be probably pretty big on the scale of 0-to-epic so get pumped.


all in? okay great."

Well, first exam of the year is over and still dont know my grade but its probably not gonna be great. I mistakenly thought I could have a life this weekend since it we had 3 days off to study for our Tuesday exam and it ended in disaster. After staying out late on Friday night and sleeping in far to late on Saturday, I begin to study around 6pm on Saturday night and then had about 12 panic attacks throughout the next two days as I realized I had too much information to learn in a very short time. So, Sunday I got to school at 9am and stayed until 9pm and then Monday I got to school by 9am and stayed until 5pm [only because it closed early] so then I went home and studied from 6pm to around midnight when i just gave up. You know its a lot of stuff to learn when you study that much and you STILL are unsure if you passed the exam. It was 127 questions and took me a little over 2 hours to complete.

I went out a bit last night but its back to the grind right away. I have to start getting serious about doing practice board exam questions each day. I will be working at Montclair clinic tonight [will be my 2nd time of the month] so maybe that will help motivate me to study. It helps me remember that I dont want to be stuck treating diabetics and hypertensives for the rest of my life...and to do that I need to do well on the boards so I can go into something fun like cardio [wishful thinking haha]

This is from another blog on the internet i found. It applies because of #1-- for some reason our professors say SONTI-meter instead of CENTI-meter and it it the most mind-boggling and irritating thing i have ever heard. At first I thought it was just one doctor but then other ones that say it the same way kept coming out of the woodwork!! ahhhhh

I kept the other ones in just cause they are pretty funny...

"Top 5 Most Annoying Medical Terms
Day to day life in the hospital can be frustrating for so many reasons: tests don’t get done, patients won’t go home, interns won’t stop crying, etc, etc. These are all predictable and acceptable obstacles that go along with being a housestaffer. However, there are certain unacceptable annoyances that should not, and cannot, be tolerated. Signing out IV placements/rectals/NGTs to the covering resident. Clinic patients who come an hour late. And, doctors who “fancify” commonplace medical terms for unknown reasons, or, use silly medi-slang. Share your own with us and we’ll add them to the list.

1. “Sontimeter”- (aka centimeter) Hated for both its pretentious nature and the frequency with which we hear it, this term remains a mystery to all housestaff below the age of 35. Were all of these docs schooled in Old England? Well, throw another shrimp on the barbie, ’cause we’re not taking it any more! The word is CENT-i-meter. Like, red cent. Not like idiot-savANT.

2. “Labs are cooking”- What? If one phrase can get me to freak out, it’s this one. Why can’t you just say ‘pending’ or ‘not done yet’? Let’s get this straight- it’s not cooler or funnier to say ‘cooking’- it’s just dorkier. And G-d help the medical student that whips out this phrase; before you know it they’ll be telling their MS3 buddies how they were “droppin’ NGs” and “throwin in lines.” Stop them before it’s too late. Please.

3. Deh-breed-mahn(dbrd-mä) - aka: debridement. Commonly used by older surgical attendings and their tortured residents, who want to glorify the very unglamorous task of removing dead tissue from a sacral decub, by adding a french accent. For example: “My PGY2 attempted the de-breed-mahn of the stage IV decub, but had to stop midway through when the patient crapped all over it.” If they want to make the procedure seem more special, they should take the patients to their service.

4. “Goombah”- (Also see: “ditzel,” “fascinoma”)- Slangy terms that are used to describe an unidentified lesion on an imaging study. When I think of these words, I think of a 45 year old radiology attending who loves to be the guy that reads the films with the floor teams. He’s got, like, 8 canned jokes that he tells every time, 3 of which are somewhat inapproprite. Is there any reason to call a mass or lesion anything else but that? Trying to spice up a CXR report with slang is like calling cancer the “Big C.” It is just unnecessary.

5. “Thank you, doctor.” - Let me clarify before you freak out. This phrase is excellent and gratifying 50% of the time when uttered by a patient or a patient’s family member. Unfortunately the other 50% of the time it’s used by patronizing nurses; and in that case, ‘thank you, doctor’ really means ‘F you, doctor;’ or, ‘I told you so,’ or even, ‘Have a good 10 minutes of sleep, before I page you again, doctor.’"

during a lecture on the menstrual cycle and PMS my professor made this joke...

"does anyone know the difference between a women with PMS and a terrorist?

well,you can actually negotiate with the terrorist..."

On a side note, I wonder if its good or bad that I am getting back into my routine of taking an hour nap each day in the later afternoon. I cant fall asleep at night so I only get about 6 hours of sleep and then by the time i get home from school i am exhausted so i nap but then I cant fall asleep early enough to get enough rest before heading to school at 8 or 9am the next day....its a vicious cycle!

"I knew women were complicated....but learning about the endless pathology associated with their reproductive tract made realize how complicated they really are."
-Nolan

"When your pen runs out of ink, what should you be thinking about?

a) FMMSL
b) I need a new pen
c) bed time
d) where's the gin
e) four of the above"
-Sam

**FMMSL=Fck My Med School Life

Food for thought...

A human egg [oocyte with the surrounding supportive cells, together called a follicle] is the size of a dot a very sharp pencil would make on paper. In contrast, an ostrich egg is the largest and weighs up to 3.5pounds. [and yes, we are talking about the same kind of egg you eat for breakfast...]


“Menstruation are the bloody tears of a disappointed uterus” --an old saying taught in medical school

“The number of oocytes is highest before birth, around 6-7million, lots and lots of eggs, how many at birth? turns into 2 million. How many at puberty? turns into 400,000-500,000, how many of those will ovulate? 400-500. Thus, the overwhelming odds of the fate of an egg is to NOT ovulate. We are all examples of a special egg that has ovulated. Thats how special we all are. And it even gets more impressive when you think about spermatozoa. There are 35-40 million spermatozoa in a single ejaculate, and the odds of one of those spermatozoa meeting up with an egg is astronomically small. So its a way of thinking about how special we really are. We should take the rest of the day off we are all just that special....”
-Dr.G