Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The little things

Pure happiness is such a powerful feeling. Moments of true and pure joy do not come very often. Yes, you can be always be 'happy' but there are those moments when something just rushes through you and you are smiling uncontrollably and just feel on top of the world.

I had that rare feeling today. After 3 weeks of observing, assessting, and repeatedtly failing. Finally, things went just the way they were supposed to, I did just what I was supposed to, and with a Miller blade, I saw vocal cords and intubated all on my own. No help with adjustments, no help with the tube, nada. After I pushed the tube in, i waited to see condensation [to make sure it was in the trachea and not the esophagus] and then looked up at the monitor. I saw the CO2 waveform and I knew i was in. "wait, I did it?" I asked the doc. At this point Dr. G and the surgeon were continuing on, pushing meds and prepping the patient, at one point I heard Dr. G say to the surgeon "thank you for your patience" and he said back "no problem, we were all beginners at one point, right" ...and i just stood there in awe, not really listening to anyone, just looking at the monitor and totally forgetting any other responsibilites i had to do at that time. I was pre-occupied with smiling and savoring the victory.

After things settled down, I looked over at Dr. G and he gave me a 'good work' nod. I smiled and said I was so excited, I had finally got it. The surgeon overhead and said, "now dont forget to call mom tonight and tell her."

 Miller intubation blade. Gotta put the blade in a see vocal cords before you can pass the endotracheal tube:


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