bittersweet

Wednesday was pretty remarkable as I did an I&D basically by myself and got to use the Bovie [the cauterizer]. that was a major power trip :)

Thursday Dr. B came back and we met him at clinic in the afternoon. There, we followed up with the gastrectomy patient from last week [the one in which i had my arm in her abdomen] and the lipoma man. I got to see my sutures and they looked pretty good. We took them out and Dr.B joked that my side looked better than his side [which obviously wasnt true but it was nice for him to try to boost my confidence]. This was my last clinic day.

Friday we had several breast lumpectomies and then we put in a central venous port for a women that was going to need constant venous access for her chemotherapy. I got a ton of suturing experience that day; did sub-cuticular running, sub-cutaneous running, and more vertical mattress'. I am proud to say my hand did not shake at all with nervousness on all of these! even the PA noticed and congratulated me :)

Saturday morning was my last surgery and it ended in a perfect way, a lap chole. I first assisted with Captain to my right and it was a very quick and easy gallbladder removal. Ironically enough, after the surgery, I found out that we had just operated on the circulating nurses girlfriend...the nurse that was in the room the whole time. All the joking everyone was doing with him before and during the surgery made a lot more sense when Captain told me this. For example, when Dr.B asked before the surgery if the preg test came back negative...

Today I went to the hospital, rounded on my patients and after meeting a new doctor [and getting her contact info to hopefully do a rotation with her], I was done. Surgery was over and it was a bittersweet feeling. I honestly loved the rotation and cannot explain how much confidence and strength it gave me as a student physician. But at the same time, it wore me down and by the end, I was mentally and physically exhausted. Doing this for 5 years in a surgical residency is out of the question. I would love it but I do not think I am strong enough for it.

I will have the chance to be in the OR again during 4th year because I have to do a sub-internship for 4 weeks.