Clinic Continues

Peds clinic has gotten much better and i am actually starting to enjoy my time there. i have started to realize that i need to not take things so personally and just get used to different attending styles. the same attending i was worried about last week is now someone i laugh and joke with. i guess everyone has their bad days and i shouldn't always assume things are about me. the more i get experience with this the better i will do in my future rotations and in my residency.

though i am enjoying the people i am working with, i still am no closer to wanting to do pediatrics in the future. the days are very monotonous and parents are idiots. every other kid i see is terrified of me no matter what i try and its starting to get annoying. that said, the days go by fast and we are learning a lot.

the most influential thing that happened to me last week was a 9 year old girl [call her Jane..not her real name] who came in for a well child care visit. she was very nice but very shy. i tried to get her talking to me and she eventually became a little more relaxed and talkative. Jane was a slightly bigger girl but by no means would i say she was overweight. she was at the higher end of the growth curve for her age but compared to the overweight kids i have seen at the clinic, she did not look it at all. When my attending came in we all talked and she mentioned to the girl and her mom that she should probably loose some weight. when Dr. C said this, the girl got quiet and whispered to her mom "see, i told you im fat."

my heart sank a little bit when i heard this because i could just feel the confidence leaving this lovely young lady. the attending kept talking to her mom and i felt the need to cut in [even though this was the same attending that put her hand up to cut me off before]. I looked at Jane and said right into her eyes "Jane, you are not fat at all. please do not think we are saying you are fat. we are just worried about what foods you may be eating and want to make sure you are staying healthy." I went on to tell her that maybe she could get more active at recess or school sports and then her mom admitted that Jane didnt have any friends and that she was worried about her. when her mom was telling me this Jane was looking at her mother and pleading with her to stop talking, that things were "no big deal." but i pressed on and talked to Jane more about how she was feeling with school, her friends, and her shyness. At this point my attending had left the room and i stayed for about 15 minutes and continued to try to raise the self esteem of this young shy girl. I told her stories of my own childhood and encouraged her to like herself even though she was different. I told her that she was not the only one that was this shy and that many other people feel this way and i think this seemed to help her.

after speaking with Jane for a long time, i gave her a hug and her mom gave me one of the most appreciative "thank you's" i had ever received. she shook my hand and i could see in her eyes that she was so happy to have someone reach out to her daughter like that.

in the moment i felt like a great mentor and for a moment, i really liked peds again.

just for a moment...