AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"tomorrow's exam is going to be interesting....never ever had physiology, biochemistry, molecular biology, histology and developmental embryology all combined into one exam before."
-JL

That pretty much sums up my exam this morning!

i studied for countless hours, worked my butt off, and yes i passed. it is very hard to accept that no matter how much i study, i will never remember it all. and of course, that leads me to be scared to death for my first board certification exam which i will take the end of my second year...it is on everything i will learn in medical school. cool. awesome.

i wouldnt say i am doubting my decision to go to medical school, i would say i am doubting wether i can get through it. the test i just took was seriously like a final in undergrad. actually, i feel like i am learning a semesters worth of material in 2 weeks and then taking a final every two weeks after. the amount of material and the very small amount of time to learn it is SUCH a brisk pace. im kinda in a funk and need to keep my confidence up. there are just too many smart people around me and i never feel up to par. but, the moments that do help me keep focused are my patient encounters. i feel like a doctor and i am becoming good at it!


Last week i gave my first two physical examinations on people other than my classmates and family/friends. The patients (actors..) were in a gown and all. The first was on Tuesday and i sweat through the entire thing. I did pretty well but forgot some of the history questions i learned to ask for the last encounters. Then, I had my second standardized patient on Thursday and did much better. Made me feel like a good 'almost' doctor!

its the end of the beginning and i have 6 weeks left of my first half of my first year. im gonna be honest and say i am counting the days until Christmas break. i would say thanksgiving but since i have an exam the tuesday after thanksgiving weekend (and its notoriously the hardest of this block) im not really looking forward to it as much. so yeah...christmas. i get 2 weeks off with no new material to learn. PRICELESS

tomorrow is our foundraising powderpuff football game; first year med student girls against the 2nd years. im pretty excited!! of course i am playing and will hopefully kick ass (with no injuries!!)